domingo, 12 de septiembre de 2010

Patrick Henry vs Hilanne Simon: Ring Fight #1

Mr. Patrick Henry:

     No pubescent female reflects more vastly than I do of the fraudulence of your words, as well as your facilities to exploit the immaculate minds of the President and of your fellow citizens in the court. Nevertheless, as you uttered, we all have miscellaneous perspectives and we shall not disrespect them. I pronounce resolutely, that I will not, and I repeat so you can grasp this motion, WILL NOT, be silenced. Therefore, I shall be outspoken and communicate the invalidity of your ideas. I am dogged to uncover the truth behind your so-famous-Speech-in-the-Virginia-Convention! After I terminate my speech, you’ll wish you hadn’t messed with me or my British advocates and loyalists! Paraphrasing what the legendary rapper Eminem once sang, I will tear down your balcony if you look down on me Patrick Henry!

     It is radical in this transition to state an indubitable veracity. You, Mr. Henry, are closing your eyes to the excruciating truth. Do you suffer of amblyopia or another eye disease? You avowed you were willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and to provide for it right? Well, you, the Americans, are a reminiscence of the maleficent characters of Disney Channel movies! The British ministry has every single right to tax you. Why can’t you acknowledge the fact that we are not, in any way feasible, using a tyrannical system to recover the money we once lend you? None of us can disregard the certainty that the colonies could not render financial operative systems in order to defend themselves! The British ministry had the chance to provide justice for their nation by taxing the American colonists. But what was the demeanor of the colonies in this occasion, in which their own existence was concerned? The colonies rejected the valid opportunity to concede Great Britain with the same economic aids that were once provided for them. Consequently Patrick Henry, you should stop the drama and pathos immediately! Stop saying that you have petitioned, supplicated, prostrated, and implored the Parliament to stop the oppression, because in reality, the taxes are neither unfair nor oppressive! You alleged you have held the subject up in every light of which it is capable. You certainly have not. We, the British, have been the mature adults here! You are the ones who have compelled us to save the sanity and supremacy of our empire. We have altered our civil society in order to satisfy your cheap complaints and moans! Therefore, I am telling you to stop with the pretexts and supplications! Patrick Henry, you should thoroughly analyze the matters in dispute. The quarrel here is because of your contradiction to reimburse our money! That is why I think the only resolution to this struggle is to find a permanent redress. You should continue to pay taxes to the British ministry until you have paid their debts. If you execute what I propose, you will have a gratifying feeling. The scores would finally be even; for both the American colonists and the British.

     As a result, why do you affirm that we have rejected a reconcilable solution? You have distorted and twisted our words and actions in order to provide preferential treatment for your faction. You are practically threatening us you infamous insolent! Patrick Henry: why do you say you have done everything that could be done? You dispute every single action the British ministry performs! Admit it; you are blaming everything on us! Why don’t YOU take responsibility! Are you afraid of the consequences? Well, follow Eminem’s example and take a stand! We are not asking you to abandon your inestimable privileges; we would never ask such thing. We are earnest for you to understand and respect our position, instead of convincing everyone that we have declined to solve this disagreement peacefully. That’s what you’ve done; you have given Great Britain a notorious reputation based on our supposed “hostilities”. Give us the opportunity to display our subtle side once again. Be patient, for this is not an easy task for us. We have never thought of you as weak, but as a menace because you are numerous indeed. Henry, you alleged that you would fight for the holy cause of liberty. That’s nonsense! No holy cause needs violence in order to achieve it. John Lennon once said, “Give peace a chance.” Even though I suck at math, I devised a formula to improve our situation: time + chance = peace. Give us, the British, a chance to change what we can. Provide us with time and be patient. I can assure you will not repent. Everyone deserves a second chance. Give us a second chance and we will keep you at “arm’s length”. This is a better elucidation than condemning everything we perform.

     To leave you with a final thought Mr. Henry, why do you chose suicide over living in “subjugation”? Just scrutinize the state of affairs meticulously and you will realize you are making a big deal out of it. The British are only imposing taxes as a political and reasonable system to recuperate from the debts accumulated by helping your common safety. And how do you react? By stating: “war, war, war is the only solution!” Blah, blah, blah Mr. Henry! I am tired of hearing you whine! You should inform yourself by reading the connotation of “slavery” in a dictionary. You actually own personal freedom. You are positioning the colony of Virginia in an attitude of defense. We never meant nor intended for war to happen. In your speech, you only expatiated on the probability of the British ministry enslaving America! Your words do not serve as fear factors for me. Fortunately, Eminem helped me break out of my cage and helped me face my demons! I know not what course you may take; but as for me Mr. Henry, I chose to face my demons in a peaceful way instead of committing suicide!

Works Cited (Images)

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXNhaaQI52gdnIxwxOeHgR7S1uAPmG2NXqBq1zRQ-U0oSl0Lxa9gP4wkLQPASYuqXIrC6uPQXSn9SDn3u6lzK2CoyiKER2I3kn4vo-eTGZu9eWstn5zctasHB-DlAB33JBu03kKkC7zhGe/s400/Eminem+Not+Afraid+Lyrics.jpg

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rma/lowres/rman3806l.jpg

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