This is a testimony of my captivity. I, Hilanne Simón, was abducted by evil poodles. I never imagined, not even in my craziest dreams, that I would be kidnapped by my best friend’s adorable poodle.
It all started when Alexandra Quiñonez and I became close friends. She invited me to her house with the purpose of showing me her new puppy: AG. When I first met him, he was a sweet, diminutive, and really introvert poodle. I had no complains whatsoever. With time, I continued visiting my new little friend and I started noticing a change in his behavior. When he started growing, he stopped receiving me with love, but instead received me with hatred and barks. He became a bitter and cocky poodle.
I was kidnapped last Friday at Alexandra’s house. When I arrived, that hideous AG started barking and I could not stand him. AG was chasing me as if I was a complete stranger and threat to him. I started laughing, but then realized he had taken my reaction as an insult. I felt alarmed when I saw his big fangs and went outside to find refuge of that evil creature. As I closed the door of the garden and turned around, I was surprised to see an army of poodles doing their necessities in Doña Juanita’s beautiful rose bushes. They all stared at me with their red eyes, and started running towards me! What actually worried me was the fact that they were running in two legs instead of four. Afterwards, they all carried me and took me to AG’s dog house. In reality, the dog house was not just a simple dog house. It had a secret tunnel that led to an underground world of evil poodles!
Once I was there, they tied me to a huge bone and gathered in a circle. I tried to decipher what they were discussing, but unfortunately I could not understand their dog idiom. I felt puzzled and thought I had gone mad. I tried to convince myself that it was just a dream. Then, ironically, AG walked toward me, with a conceited aura as always, and told me, using the English idiom, that it was not a dream. I wanted to hit that dog with the newspaper on his nose! I told him that Alexandra would save me and would discover his contrivance! AG then answered that Alexandra would never doubt about him. Then he left without saying anymore English words. As the seconds passed, I wonder what would be of my existence and I wonder if someday they would find me. What in fact most mystified me was the reason why AG hated me so much. I could not sleep all night. I tried to analyze my possibilities of escaping, but I had poodles, who were specialized in attacking, observing me. The next morning, they gave me a chicken bone, but I could not eat. I had so much in mind. Why was I the only person captive? Was it because I had discovered their secret world? Or was I captive because AG had a personal problem with me? He definitely wanted me to arrive to the garden. He had plotted everything.
As I spent my second day in the poodle’s underworld, they told me I better start acting as one of them because I would live with them until I died. I thought: ‘I better do as they say. I have no other choice but to die as well.’ I had to walk using my legs and hands, which I thought was unfair because they walked using only two legs. I had to lick bones and eat human leftovers. They did not let me shower and I slept in the grass. I felt really uncomfortable, disgusted, and lonely. The place where I was only contained a lake, gardens, bushes labeled with the poodle’s names, and a horrible smell. I realized how cruel dogs lived.
The next day, I demanded to talk with AG. I had thought about the situation pretty well. AG could hate me for four reasons. One: Alexandra now spent more time with me than with him. Therefore, he was jealous of me. Two: I had interrupted the poodle’s privacy while doing their necessities at Alexandra’s bushes. Three: I discovered their world. Four: my captivity was a form of vengeance to human kind because humans mistreated their dogs. As I reunited with AG, I stated my reasons. He started barking at me. I didn’t know if he was laughing at me or yelling, but then figured he was laughing because his tail was moving. He congratulated me! I actually nailed the four reasons. Afterwards, I gave AG a sermon of why he should grant me my freedom. I told him he should not be jealous; that Alexandra loved both of us equally. Consequently, I told him I interrupted his army’s private moment accidentally and that I would not reveal their gargantuan secret. But most importantly, I told him that in the past two days, I had grasped the unfair ways humans treat their dogs. All those poodles had escaped from their owners because they did not have love. I became conscious I neglected my poodles, Blanqui and Coco, and that I was being punished for it.
Astonishingly, AG jumped over me and started licking me! He was apologetic and freed me. Before I left, I made a pact with AG to keep the Poodle’s Secret Organization a secret. I also swear to myself to love and care for my poodles so they would not abandon me. I felt really relieved.
I returned back to Alexandra’s house with AG. It was like if I never left. Alexandra was bewildered when she saw AG and me hugging and playing. While she was drooling, AG and I were embracing the moment.
The captivity of ‘evil’ poodles doesn’t sound so crazy for me after all.
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